Offline – by Casey Scanlon

Dad

and Coronavirus

scratch in my head

at similar places

Cautious voices

Don’t get close

A hug may be an act of danger

or disguised aggression

 

My life is on hold

Still

It’s me and Dad

in a sad house.

 

I want a life

Outside

my bedroom

and my head

Please.

 

Grindr?

Okcupid?

Onlylads?

 

I’d rather

face-to-face

body-to-body

Passion Heat Desire Emotion

on my fingers

Because

once you hang up

you’re on your own

again

Disconnected

Out of touch

Down

 

I want

to notice

You

over there

across a room,

even if it is only 20 people or less

and my hands smell of alcohol rub.

 

I am old fashioned, I explain to myself

Mostly wishing I wasn’t

but

sometimes proud

of this point of difference

I’m not interested in Facebook-Fuck the phone-Fuck the people glued to their phones-Zombies who have forgotten

to look around.

 

In my bedroom

I watch and wish

Friends and I love Lucy and The Golden Girls

Canned laughter is the backdrop to my 20s

But I am tough

Tougher than the smartest phone

Tough when I hit the curb

I wait to love you

Up close

offline.

+

Casey Scanlon has recently found his way into the gay community and is hopeful that a relationship will follow soon. He loves animals and volunteers at the RSPCA. The poem was developed with Henry von Doussa, who has been supporting Casey as he finds connections in the LGBTIQ community.

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