Heath John Ramsay – Two Poems

He Who Shall Be Named

I’ve made a recording
of me screaming your name
with ear-splitting ferocity

An anguished, wretched scream
which perfectly encapsulates
the depths of my suffering and despair

My Savage Soundbite™
will be permanently lodged
inside your bloodless brain

Amygdala Armageddon
Operation Limbic Whiplash
Self-esteem, I’m gunning for you

Retributive Justice™ software
in cataclysmic concert
with your emotional undulations

Now every time you crest
toward a feeling of happiness or pride
my Atonement Audio™ activates

So that you immediately suffer
at tremendous volume
an articulation of pure misery

By none other than myself
your original victim
Roger Cunningham


Your Umbrella

Sex in the city after film class
you weren’t who you pretended to be
but I didn’t mind
you were cute and bashful
hungry and nervous

So many noodles!
I’m drowning in an ocean of Mi goreng logos
you take me by the hand and lead me to a bedroom that isn’t yours
then, glory of glories
you ask if you can take off my shoes

We jostle for position
the race is on
by crikey you are determined
but wait, just a moment
come closer and give me your face

Post coital glow and candour
horizontal rain pelting the windows
our own private carwash
a roving silhouette of raindrops dance across your torso
Well isn’t this nice

Bear hugs and chuckles in the hallway
a quick sting of sadness behind my eyes
we both notice we’re holding hands
a reluctant slow dance
towards your front door

You offered me so much more than your umbrella
but this tone-deaf fool politely discouraged your kindness
promises, promises
I’d like that, stay safe
one final kiss in the Kingdom of Noodles

It felt exquisite to be alive in our carwash
but now, a plague of if onlys
the Fail Whale stole you from me
my Noodle Prince



Heath John Ramsay, actor, sub-average singer, private dancer, pop culture glutton, former colourist at Elevation Hair & Beauty and Enrolments Advisor at The Phoenix Institute (raided by the Federal Police in March 2016) enjoys french knitting and Murder She Wrote, and is currently reading Balancing Act: The Authorized Biography of Angela Lansbury.

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