___ thirteen://
i use the internet for the first time _ while visiting my friend]s
house / we go on chat sites / she teaches me that you can lie
online which i am initially surprised by / we pretend to be a
seventeen year old cheerleader from somewhere in the usa //
asl ? // _ which we envisage as peak sexy / we talk to men i
suppose / i experience the thrill of anonymity _ and of deception
i start talking to a girl in a chat site / she lives in
america and she is blonde and very pretty and fourteen
/ we talk for hours / i am desperate to talk to her again
the next day / we exchange emails and we email daily
for months / we exchange pictures and talk about our
days / it]s my first online relationship / it]s my first
relationship with a girl / at some point and for some
reason we cease contact
i lose my virginity _ to a twenty seven year old
while visiting a friend a few towns over / we have
a sort of relationship over msn for a bit / it turns
out he has a girlfriend _ who was also twenty
seven or around there / she starts stalking me on
msn and threatens to bash me for sleeping with
her boyfriend
____ fifteen://
a teacher shows us // the first ? // smart chat bot / we spend
all afternoon trying to trick her in order to prove that she is
not real _ even though we already know that she is not real
a boy at school shows me a video of a man being
beheaded
_____ sixteen://
my cousin shows me a site called vampire freaks / it]s
basically myspace for [goths] / i start my second online
relationship _ with a girl who lives in france / she sends me
emails about how her boyfriend likes her to step on his
testicles while she wears stilettos
______ seventeen://
my boyfriend details how i had drunkenly cheated on him on
live journal and the whole school reads it
my sister and i have a party / some boys use the
computer in the lounge room to watch porn and
somehow it gets left playing all night / the next day our
dad is furious at us because of how expensive the internet bill will be
_______ eighteen://
my friend]s boyfriend uses my msn account to tell everyone
// as me // that i have a rape fantasy / i have never told him
this _ but it is true
________ nineteen://
i join facebook. / i post my first selfie
my ex boyfriend breaks into my email account and
reads emails i have sent to another guy / after this he
won]t stop sending me abusive emails and i have to
start a new account
_________ twenty://
my sister introduces me to the concept of facebook stalking _
which i consider highly unethical
i am introduced to the website efukt, where _ among
other things _ men post videos of themselves covertly
ejaculating onto women]s backs whilst on public
transport
__________ twenty one://
my friend sends me nude images of a girl he had briefly dated
/ i hear that she didn]t even send them to him _ but that his
friend hacked her computer and gave them to him / i hear
that he sent them to a lot of people / i think this whole
situation is very amusing
___________ twenty two://
two of my male friends and i like to get stoned and troll dudes
on chat roulette / i]ll talk to the guy and they]ll start jerking
off _ then before they cum we turn the camera around and
my two friends are there smiling and giving a big thumbs up /
often the guys think it]s funny but sometimes they get pretty
angry / one time we get a guy to drink his own piss / one guy
manages to finish before we pull the prank and i feel pretty
ashamed and disgusted with myself _ but i don]t want to let
on because i don]t want to bring down the mood and be [uncool]
i guess my boyfriend]s facebook password and log in to
his account / i discover that he is cheating on me /
when i confront him he is mad at me for invading his privacy
____________ twenty three://
after graduation my honours supervisor emails me and
propositions an affair / he later says it was a joke
_____________ twenty five://
i]m introduced to the red pill
i join instagram
i receive my first unsolicited dick pic
i start using tinder and okcupid / between the
ages of twenty five and twenty seven i fuck
approximately thirty three people from the
internet
______________ twenty six://
i take naked photos of myself for 250$ _ in order to pay for
my passport / i also make a video of my face while
masturbating for a further 250$
_______________ twenty eight://
i watch lots of james deen pornography / james deen is
famous for creating the best simulated rape _ bdsm _ and
torture porn / female co stars _ including one of his ex
girlfriends _ begin publicly accusing deen of sexually
assaulting them during filming / one woman says she was
afraid for her life during a shoot. / when i discover that the
[play rape] i thought i]d been watching is actual rape _ i feel
disgusted with myself / i feel sick that i have been
masturbating to women in pain _ women that are literally
afraid for their lives
james deen is [cancelled] _ and his career is declared
over
after a performance _ a man finds me on
facebook and messages me for months _ even
though i don]t respond to any of them / the last
message he sends asks _ [any huge surprises you found ?]
________________ twenty nine://
i am banned from tinder
a customer from the bar i work in finds my website and
uses it to send me messages of a sexual nature
_________________ thirty://
i read that it]s been decided that james deen has been made
to suffer the consequences of his actions long enough _ and
is now allowed to make a comeback / his first comeback
feature is titled consent
i download an app that shows me when people unfollow
me on instagram / i am often surprised and hurt when
people i know unfollow me / i never confront anyone to
ask why they have unfollowed me _ but i always
unfollow them back
+
Georgia Banks is a current studio artist at Gertrude Contemporary, Melbourne. She completed a Masters of Fine Arts (Research) at the Victoria College of the Arts in 2015.
