About Me – by Georgia Banks

___ thirteen://

i use the internet for the first time _ while visiting my friend]s

house / we go on chat sites / she teaches me that you can lie

online which i am initially surprised by / we pretend to be a

seventeen year old cheerleader from somewhere in the usa //

asl ? // _ which we envisage as peak sexy / we talk to men i

suppose / i experience the thrill of anonymity _ and of deception

i start talking to a girl in a chat site / she lives in

america and she is blonde and very pretty and fourteen

/ we talk for hours / i am desperate to talk to her again

the next day / we exchange emails and we email daily

for months / we exchange pictures and talk about our

days / it]s my first online relationship / it]s my first

relationship with a girl / at some point and for some

reason we cease contact

i lose my virginity _ to a twenty seven year old

while visiting a friend a few towns over / we have

a sort of relationship over msn for a bit / it turns

out he has a girlfriend _ who was also twenty

seven or around there / she starts stalking me on

msn and threatens to bash me for sleeping with

her boyfriend

 

____ fifteen://

a teacher shows us // the first ? // smart chat bot / we spend

all afternoon trying to trick her in order to prove that she is

not real _ even though we already know that she is not real

a boy at school shows me a video of a man being

beheaded

_____ sixteen://

my cousin shows me a site called vampire freaks / it]s

basically myspace for [goths] / i start my second online

relationship _ with a girl who lives in france / she sends me

emails about how her boyfriend likes her to step on his

testicles while she wears stilettos

______ seventeen://

my boyfriend details how i had drunkenly cheated on him on

live journal and the whole school reads it

my sister and i have a party / some boys use the

computer in the lounge room to watch porn and

somehow it gets left playing all night / the next day our

dad is furious at us because of how expensive the internet bill will be

_______ eighteen://

my friend]s boyfriend uses my msn account to tell everyone

// as me // that i have a rape fantasy / i have never told him

this _ but it is true

________ nineteen://

i join facebook. / i post my first selfie

my ex boyfriend breaks into my email account and

reads emails i have sent to another guy / after this he

won]t stop sending me abusive emails and i have to

start a new account

_________ twenty://

my sister introduces me to the concept of facebook stalking _

which i consider highly unethical

i am introduced to the website efukt, where _ among

other things _ men post videos of themselves covertly

ejaculating onto women]s backs whilst on public

transport

__________ twenty one://

my friend sends me nude images of a girl he had briefly dated

/ i hear that she didn]t even send them to him _ but that his

friend hacked her computer and gave them to him / i hear

that he sent them to a lot of people / i think this whole

situation is very amusing

___________ twenty two://

two of my male friends and i like to get stoned and troll dudes

on chat roulette / i]ll talk to the guy and they]ll start jerking

off _ then before they cum we turn the camera around and

my two friends are there smiling and giving a big thumbs up /

often the guys think it]s funny but sometimes they get pretty

angry / one time we get a guy to drink his own piss / one guy

manages to finish before we pull the prank and i feel pretty

ashamed and disgusted with myself _ but i don]t want to let

on because i don]t want to bring down the mood and be [uncool]

i guess my boyfriend]s facebook password and log in to

his account / i discover that he is cheating on me /

when i confront him he is mad at me for invading his privacy

____________ twenty three://

after graduation my honours supervisor emails me and

propositions an affair / he later says it was a joke

_____________ twenty five://

i]m introduced to the red pill

i join instagram

i receive my first unsolicited dick pic

i start using tinder and okcupid / between the

ages of twenty five and twenty seven i fuck

approximately thirty three people from the

internet

______________ twenty six://

i take naked photos of myself for 250$ _ in order to pay for

my passport / i also make a video of my face while

masturbating for a further 250$

_______________ twenty eight://

i watch lots of james deen pornography / james deen is

famous for creating the best simulated rape _ bdsm _ and

torture porn / female co stars _ including one of his ex

girlfriends _ begin publicly accusing deen of sexually

assaulting them during filming / one woman says she was

afraid for her life during a shoot. / when i discover that the

[play rape] i thought i]d been watching is actual rape _ i feel

disgusted with myself / i feel sick that i have been

masturbating to women in pain _ women that are literally

afraid for their lives

james deen is [cancelled] _ and his career is declared

over

after a performance _ a man finds me on

facebook and messages me for months _ even

though i don]t respond to any of them / the last

message he sends asks _ [any huge surprises you found ?]

________________ twenty nine://

i am banned from tinder

a customer from the bar i work in finds my website and

uses it to send me messages of a sexual nature

_________________ thirty://

i read that it]s been decided that james deen has been made

to suffer the consequences of his actions long enough _ and

is now allowed to make a comeback / his first comeback

feature is titled consent

i download an app that shows me when people unfollow

me on instagram / i am often surprised and hurt when

people i know unfollow me / i never confront anyone to

ask why they have unfollowed me _ but i always

unfollow them back

+

Georgia Banks is a current studio artist at Gertrude Contemporary, Melbourne. She completed a Masters of Fine Arts (Research) at the Victoria College of the Arts in 2015.

Back to Bent Street 4.1 – Love from a Distance